I would like to share a brief intercultural conflict which I experienced in secondary school. For the record, I came from a primary school with mainly Chinese classmates. On the very first day of secondary school, I was surprised to find out that there was only two Chinese (including me) out of around 40 students in the class! In fact, the whole school was nearly populated by Malay students. Needless to say, I barely knew anyone there and was learning to adapt to the new environment.
Everything took on a different light on the first day of Physical Education class. I being the usual self wore proper shirt and shorts (above the knee level), ready to start warming up. I was definitely appalled when one of my classmates came up to me and curtly commented that what I wore was too short! I was almost fuming mad because I have the right to wear anything I wanted to and it was decent after all. It was only then that I realised almost everyone wore tracksuit. I started to be a bit embarrassed as I was dressed differently from the rest.
However, I later gained composure and mustered my courage to ask her politely for clarification. She explained to me that Muslims girls should wear attires that deck them (“menutup aurat” in Malay). At the same time, it would be good for others who are around a majority of Muslim people to do the same too. This meant that the shorts, pants, trousers or skirt should be below the knee level. It is not a must, but more of a sign of tolerant and respect towards the Muslims.
I was glad that something was to be learnt from that incident. Therefore, I never wore anything “short” to school after that eventful day. It definitely helped me to understand their culture better and brought me through my five years of study in that secondary school. I am proud to say I not only survived, but also built few lasting friendships with some classmates till this very day! :D
P/S: So, what happens when two different ends meet? They can either form a knot or part. You decide.
Wooden Paddle from Central Portugal
1 day ago
Hi, in my opinion, people can look at the matter differently. After the incident, you changed your attire style. That can happen under different causes. One, one might be under peer pressure, not wishing to wear something different from others and also disapproved by the majority. Second, one might be changing their appearance in order to respect the others by respecting and accepting other's culture and perceptions. These two might mix at the same time, so, yes, it's your choice. However, as long as the decision does not make oneself uncomfortable, a little change does not harm. World peace will only comes when different edges find themselves holding together, somehow, not in a strict tight knot, but a flexible willing-full knot.
ReplyDelete*Not sure if I am supposed to comment in your blog as it is supposed to be academic. Just a thought*
Thanks Mafer! You shared a very relevant insight with respect to my situation. Being versatile, I changed my dressing style to suit the norm and also to show respect towards other's culture. At the same time, I am confortable with this little change. So, this is a form of tolerance. I will still dress as I wish (decently, of course!) whenever I am out. =P At least I am now aware of such issues and will take that into consideration if necessary.
ReplyDeleteHi Steph
ReplyDeleteI remember this happened to me when I was in the so-called Khidmat Negara (Malay term for National Service).
It goes something like this. I have the habit of wearing shorts to sleep at night. Going to that camp, all my sleeping attire were short pants!
Of course, one of the Malay girls in my team literally told me off (which I was quite pissed off about). However, for the sake of the other Malay girls, I changed to sleeping with long pants.
There was even one point when I preferred to have more sleeping time that I wore my given sports attire (long sleeves long pants) to sleep so that I don't have to wake up to change the next morning! ;)
Hey Stephanie!
ReplyDeleteI think that very often such actions to show respect and acceptance to another culture depends very much on whether that particular culture is the majority of the group. This probably explains why you did not encounter such incident when you were in your primary school, where the majority or the student population is chinese. Most of the time, people conform to a certain standard because that is the norm and they want to fit in to it. I think that an interesting situation would be when your class is composed of half chinese and half malays. In that case, I wonder how will the attire be?
Hey girl!
ReplyDeleteI kinda had the same experience in secondary school where my class had around 16 Muslim girls out of a total of 40. Coming from a Catholic school, it was a total culture shock seeing I had little or no Muslim friends before that.
But yes, we need to understand and accept them for their culture and they will treat us the same as well. Sometimes i even feel that having friends of different cultures teach you many more things and lead you out of the little circle you're stuck in without them. They teach you about the religious stuffs and the many interesting superstitions. Makes life more interesting right? =)
@ Lin Hui: Yes, that's an interesting scenario! I guess if that is the case, the Chinese will still tolerate the Muslim's culture. Perhaps it will be better because everyone is doing it and adhering to the norm.
ReplyDelete@Kellyn: Sure,I agree that this makes life more interesting. Moreover, it is the experience that is most important. We need to be versatile and easily assimilate to the different cultures around us without sacrificing our principles. =)
Thanks, Stephanie, for sharing this story from your school days. It reflects one of the main areas of concern today, certainly in Malaysia, but also in the world at large. How can groups of people with differing values, which themselves result in different behavioral norms, not only coexist but show respect to each other without subverting their own ways and sense of identity.
ReplyDeleteIt was very honorable of you to adapt so willingly. What is sad is when a person or a group is inflexible.